SOON ALL THE WAITING WILL BE OVER
Yes, dear readers, today we shall find out who will "lead" UKIP into the future.
Some say that many people have spoiled their papers and written "Come back Nigel, we love you". Well, when I say some, I think it was Nigel actually, but no matter.
The UKIP conference takes place today in Bournemouth, England, and this afternoon will see its next leader announced and Nige will retire gracefully to the back seat. It promises to be exciting for them because normally their next leader has been their last leader.
Mr F has refused to back any of the contestants for the Great British Half Baked Off this year, but he did indicate that Channel Four might cover it next time round. He did admit that he had been dominant in the party. Looking around at others, like Lord Pearson of Rannoch, or David Coburn, I can't imagine why.
Farage is still the centre of attraction, however, for today at least, and was leading a tribute to the factoid that 100 years ago the first tanks were used in the Great War. (I can't help felling that politicians have played the First World War to death for publicity.) He didn't miss an opportunity to tell anyone who was listening that Britain had centuries of experience of dealing with European tyranny. How fortunate, I thought, it is that there was never any tyranny here on these islands. Or indeed, is!
In any case, I digress. It seems to me looking at this list of policies, that maybe they could save a bit of money and just appoint Theresa May as their new leader.
After all, it's pretty much a part time job, and all the time that Farage spend drinking smoking and carousing, Mrs May could spend running the Tories. All she would have to remember would be that when she had a purple leopard skin shoes on she was in favour of people being able to park for free in hospitals, and when she had her blue hat on, she expected them to be dropped at the hospital door by the chauffeur.
I hope it is her, because I've never heard of any of the other contestants and i can't be bothered learning a new name.